Bridesmaids: A Cautionary Tale.

As a Bridal Consultant, there are a few questions that I get asked by customers on almost a daily basis.  "Do you love your job?"  Of course I do!  I get to play Barbie for a living and help people's dreams come true every day.  "Do you ever have any really bad Bridezilla's?"  Occasionally yes, but the honest truth is usually the major problem is Bridesmaids.  Why the Bridesmaid, you ask?  Because most girls have NO idea what it means to be a Bridesmaid.

Girls, if a Bride asks you to be a part of her wedding party it's because she wants you to be a part of her special day.  HER special day.  It is not your wedding, so shut your mouth, smile big for the camera, and give her all the attention she needs.  It is her wedding gown so even if it's not your taste, be happy for her and keep your opinion to yourself.  I'm not saying you shouldn't say something if it really makes her look terrible, but wait for her to give you her cues first.  If she is beaming in the gown and has tears in her eyes, maybe you shouldn't say something like "I just really hate dropped waist gowns because I think they make hips look big, but if you like it than get it."  You know that all she is going to focus on now is her hips, even if it doesn't make her look bad.  That is just being passive aggressive.  Don't get me wrong, I will be the first to tell a Bride if I feel the style of dress is wrong for her, but I am never mean about it and I always find a better option right away.  I have seen Brides make the wrong decision on a gown because a Bridesmaid likes a different one better (because it is more to the maids own taste) and regret it later.  I've gotten frantic phone calls after the dress has been ordered asking if it's possible to get a different style because they have realized their maids pushed them into the wrong gown.

Do NOT give ultimatums.  If the Bride wants you in a floor length gown, wear a floor length gown.  If she wants you in vomit green, wear it with a smile.  Don't say, I won't wear that.  Don't threaten to drop out.  If you truly feel that way, DON'T agree to be a Bridesmaid in the first place.

Be aware that agreeing to be in the wedding party may come with a lot of out of pocket expenses.  Travel and Hotel may me required.  Most Bridesmaids pay for their own gowns, alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup so please be willing to do so.  If you don't feel you can afford to fulfill the Brides vision, take her aside and respectfully let her know.  Don't do it in front of everyone and don't be bitchy about it.  Be prepared to spend anywhere from $100 - $500 and you haven't even bought a gift yet.

Be aware that even though just about every Bride says she wants to pick a dress that her maids can wear again, chances are you never will.  Even if the style may be one that can be worn to other occasions, chances are there won't be much call to wear a lavendar or coral gown ever again.  If it's what she wants, just do it.

Please don't make the Bachelorette party about you.  Don't leave her in a corner and forget about her.  Don't take off with some random guys you meet at the bar.  Don't pick a fight with one of the other Bridesmaids.

I see way to many Brides who are stressed out because of their weddings already get pushed over the edge by one of their Bridesmaids.  It's uncalled for.  It should be about the happy couple that day whether you agree with the centerpieces or not.

To the maids who do understand what their role is, Thank you!  You make my job and hers a lot easier.  Even if she puts you in the most unflattering dress in the most hideous combination of colors imaginable, you are a true friend.